“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
---Marianne Williamson
This is my first official start at blogging about the more personal aspects of my life. I decided to start it out my new blog with a quote I found recently that really has stuck with me. I spend everyday measuring myself against many things, my past accomplishments, fears, failures, goals, hopes, desires and even the opinions and expectations of others now and over the years.
Life has taken many turns for me in the past few years….if someone had told me I would be where I am now I never would have believed it. I have had my moments of mourning for the past and my losses. Despite the trauma I have also had so much great support and love. There are so many of my friends and family who have been angels for me. I greatly appreciate them. I am reminded everyday that this life is a test and I am not yet at my destination. When I see it that way it doesn’t matter that I have lost a marriage, my job, been hit by a truck, suffered financial losses, lost my home and even another relationship, one that I had put so much of my heart and energy into.
I have been given so much in the way of my talents and my two beautiful children. The future is still so uncertain but I have my dreams, my faith and my desires to keep me going. I used to be so afraid of everything. I was just paralyzed by the thought that I wasn’t good enough. I was also seeing myself through the inaccurate eyes of others. But I think that deep inside I knew I have so much more…the truth is I was afraid to see what my potential really is and was. It also seemed the more I would push to learn grow and excel the more alone I became. I am not afraid of being alone anymore. I still dislike it but I do not want to hold myself back just so others feel comfortable around me. This is my life’s experience and I want to live my life and really live it, taste it and feel it…and I hope to inspire others to tap into their own energy to do so. Especially my two most precious gifts…my children.
I will only have myself to blame if I live on the terms of others. I do not want to be caught up in that anymore. I am not sure I even wanted to be or even meant to be but through my own fear and insecurities I have not been allowing myself to reach my full potential. I am now on a journey to listen to and follow my heart. I just hope my heart will hold steady without failing me, leading me in truth as I move forward in hopeful faith everyday.
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